As I sit here and write this blog post less than 24 hours before my daughter’s birthday, I just sit in awe of the blessing that was bestowed upon me almost 2 years ago.
Now you see when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was 35 years old, never pregnant, excellent job, devoted relationship with a great mate, and most importantly, I was living my journey through the steady instruction of God.
Prior to the findings of my pregnancy, I came to the notion that at that particular point in my life it probably wasn’t in His will for me to be a Mother, and I accepted it as just that. I didn’t question Him. I became content with the life that I was living. I was in my late 30’s, who in their right mind would want to conceive a child at that age? Based off what society says: “I’m too old”.
From the outside looking in you would have thought that I had it all together. As I stated before I had what the world would consider the “luxuries” of life (degrees, job, relationship, church home, etc.), but to be totally honest I still felt like something was missing. Here I was tutoring, mentoring, advising these beautiful children of all ethnicities, but deep down inside I still yearned for my own “seed”.
Let’s now fast forward to April 24, 2016 at 12:10am.
This is the day that my life changed forever as God awarded me with the best gift imaginable, my daughter Ebonni Joella Moss. After all those months of aches, pains, sleepless nights, swollen limbs, facial changes, surgeries, endless Doctor appointments it was evident that
“God gives his hardest battles to His strongest soldiers”. And it was at that very moment I realized not only was I now someone’s Mother; but my life was no longer just my own.
Now, here I am embarking on 2 years of this precious journey of Motherhood. Even through the obstacles, as well as the triumphs, I wouldn’t change it for anything in this world. My daughter has shown me strengths (weaknesses included) about myself that otherwise I would have never discovered if it wasn’t for her. I’m thankful every day for this miracle, and just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it; it was shown and proven that I could.
That just goes to show: “When the World says No, leave it up to God to say Yes”.
By Nina Frazier
She says it looks desperate and lonely!
Why do we have to feel susceptible to being transparent or honest? Why can’t we talk about our feelings, expectations or desires publicly if it doesn’t offend anyone especially the creator? Love and Success is healthy and Powerful, right? As long as you don’t abuse it, right? The last I checked, desperation is a state of despair, typically one that results in rash or extreme behavior. When one chooses to feel comfortable in their skin and appropriately embracing positive things, we should be comfortable in our skin to let them speak freely without associating it to negativity. If a hurt person still believes that love exists that’s strength, not weakness, right? If a person who has several failed attempts at success and they embrace moving forward and encourage others, that's strength not weakness, right? What has our mentality narrowed down to, where we make positive thoughts negative? What has our mentality narrowed down to, when we begin to associate uplifting others daily as being redundant? We teach people that if they say too much, they look suspect! Interesting and disturbing I might say! Transparency shouldn’t make an individual feel like they need to shift who they are to accommodate insecurities. You guys are sadly confusing people. I think those who contradict what’s good and bad are insecure individuals who truly want to speak more than they are on mute. Don’t mute yourself for ANYONE except God. Set yourself FREE!
B. Watkins, M.Ed.
Author, A Search For Her New Beginning